Rango: An Immortalized Legend's Tale
Immerse yourself in the strange and bewildering tale of Rango, a hero whose story is yet to unfold. Join us as we celebrate the life and untimely death of a great legend through music and storytelling.
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Video Transcript
(MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYING)
♪ Rango!
♪ Rango
♪ Rango!
♪ Rango
♪ Rango ♪
We are gathered here today
to immortalize in song
the life and untimely
death of a great legend.
Rango...
So sit back, relax,
and enjoy your
low-calorie popcorn
and assorted confections
while we tell you the
strange and bewildering
tale of a hero
who has yet to
enter his own story.
(BREATHING DEEPLY)
(VOCALIZING)
Crunchy, creamy, cookie,
candy, cupcake.
Okay, everybody,
let's take it from the top.
The stage is set,
the night moist
with apprehension.
Alone in her chamber,
the princess prepares
to take her own life.
RANGO: (AS PRINCESS)
"It is far better
to nourish worms
"than to live
without love."
(AS HIMSELF)
She reaches for
the poisoned chalice.
Meanwhile,
the wicked Malvolio
plots his ascension
to the throne
(LAUGHS EVILLY)
while her aging father
lies gravely ill.
(AS PRINCESS' FATHER)
"Yes, I am gravely ill."
"Hark, who goes there?"
'Tis I,
the much-anticipated hero,
returning to rescue
his emotionally
unstable maiden!
Unhand her,
you jailers of virtue,
or taste the bitter sting
of my vengeance!
The sting of my...
Dr. Marx?
Dr. Marx,
I'm not getting
anything from you.
(SIGHING IN EXASPERATION)
People, we've talked
about this.
Acting is reacting.
Victor, you were wooden!
There, I said it.
Mr. Timms?
You were good.
Perhaps a little too good.
What's that, Victor?
My character's undefined?
That's absurd.
I know who I am.
I'm the guy,
the protagonist, the hero.
Every story needs a hero.
I mean, who else
is better qualified
to bask in the adulation
of his numerous companions?
(EXHALES)
