Denis Leary - Asshole (Official Uncensored Version)
Music video by Denis Leary performing Asshole. (C) 1993 A&M Records
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Video Transcript
Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American dream.
About me. About you.
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests.
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts.
Maybe below the cockles. Maybe in the sub-cockle area.
Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys.
Maybe even in the colon, we don't know.
I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job.
I'm your average white suburbanite slob.
I like football and porno and books about war.
I got an average house with a nice hardwood floor.
My wife and my job, my kids and my car.
My feet on my table and a Cuban cigar.
But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me
interested.
Oh, no.
No way.
Uh-uh.
No, I've got to go out and have fun at someone else's expense.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane
While people behind me are going insane
I'm an asshole, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo
I'm an asshole, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo
I use public toilets and I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summertime saying how about this heat
I'm an asshole, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo
I'm an asshole, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo
Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces
I'm an asshole, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo
I'm an asshole, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo
Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible.
Hot pink with a whale skin, a hubcap, an all leather cow interior and big brown baby seal
eyes for headlights.
Yeah!
And that baby at 115 miles per hour getting one mile per gallon
Sucking down port-a-ponto cheeseburgers from McDonald's
In the old-fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
And when I'm done sucking down those greaseball burgers
I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side
And there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why? Because we got the bomb
